Washer of the Sock: Fellowship of the Sock
by Lohendi Vanima
Summary: Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings unite in this 'adult' story of mayhem and sarcasm.


This story is a parody of LOTR and HP... Therefore this is not mine... The sarcasm is, but the rest isn't :)

AN: Please have patience as I've just now found part of the story; computer ate it >. Another thing about this: I actually made an audio part for this story. The audio so far is for the prologue only, but if you would like to hear it and read along, let me know and I'll see what I can't do about getting it to you :) Lo

The story is written in script form:

Itallics are different languages and character part

Bold are descriptions and stage directions

_**The Washer of the Sock: The Fellowship of the Sock

* * *

**_

* * *

**Staring :**

Harry Potter as Frodo Baggins

Ronald Weasley as Samwize Gamgee

Neville Longbottom as Peregrin Took

Hermione Granger as meriadoc Brandybuck

Lily and James Potter as Frodo's parents

Albus Dumbledore as Gandalf the Grey

Argus Filch as Aragorn

Sirius Black as Boromir

Prof. Flitwick as Gimli

Prof. Lockheart as Legolas Greenleaf

Peter Perrigrew as Grima Wormtngue

Voldemort as Sauron

Cornelius Fudge as Saruman

Dobby as Gollum

Death Eaters as Ring Wraiths

Lucius Malfoy as Witch King

A Chicken as Elrond

Ludo bagman as Denethor

Mad Eye Moody as Celeborn

Trelawny as Galadriel

Rubeus Hagris as Bilbo Baggins

Severus Snape as Haldir

Tonks as Eowyn

Draco Malfoy as Eomer

Prof. Lupin as Faramir

Aunt Marge as Arwen

Crabbe as Hama

Goyle as King Thodrid

Luna Lovegood as Rosie Cotton

The Dursleys as the Ferneys

Aragog as Shelob

Preface of story:

_Narrator:_

_Iamar prestar aen._ The world is changed.

_Han mathon ne nen._ I feel it in the warters.

_Han mathon ne chae_. I feel it in the earth

_A han noston ned 'wilith._ I smell it in the air.

Much that once was, is lost. For none now live who remember it.

**The words 'The Washer of the Sock' appear in silver lettering on the screen, the screen fades to black, then a ball of yarn is seen. A pair of knitting needles are seen knitting the golden yarn.**

It began with the knitting of the Tube Socks.

**Three pairs of Elven feet are seen, each with a pair of Socks with intricate designs on them. We see the Elves looking down at their feet in wonder.**

Three pair were given to the Elves: immortal, wisest, and fairest of all beings.

Seven to the Dwarf-lords: great miners and craftsment of the mountain halls.

**We see them put the Socks onto their feet and cheer**.

And nine. Nine pair of Socks were gifted to the race of men, who above all else desire power.

**The men are seen sitting in lounge chairs, be-socked feet on stools, belching with beer in one hand and a whip in the other yelling for their wives to bring more beer.**

For within these Socks was woven the strength and the will to govern each race. But they were all o fthem decieved.

**We see a map of Middle Earth, which darkens as the screen blacks out.**

For another pair was made.

**Map is shown again, this time showing Mordor.**

In the land of Mordor, in the washing room of Mount Doom, the Dark lord Voldemort knitted in secret a Master Pair of Socks to control all others.

**We see a washmachine in the background with clothing writhing in the water of it behind Voldemort. We see Voldemort's face, behind a dark robe's hood; he is now tapping his foot in front of the dryer awaiting their completion. Then we see a more distant shot of Voldemort, this time holding the huge Socks up in his hand after taking them out of the dryer.**

And into these Socks, he poured his cruelty, his malace, and his will to dominate all life.

**Fire from the lave below covers his image, and in the fire we see the pair of Socks bundled into a knot. We se a close shot of Voldemort, with the Socks on his feet. The camera zooms in on the Socks, which have fiery Elvish letters woven into it.**

Two Socks to rule them all.

**Once again, we see a map of Middle Earth. A dark cloud originating from Mordor spreads to the rest of Middle Earth in deadly movement.**

One by one, free lands of Middle Earth fell to the power of the Socks.

**The map blends into a village in Middle Earth, where people are running away from Orcs, who are brandishing axes and burning down houses.**

But there were some who resisted.

**We see an army of men marching, then a long shot of hte battle field, where there are thousands of men, Elves, and Orcs in battle, marching towards each other. The camera moves up to show Mount Doom.**

A last alliance of Men and Elves marched against the armies of Mordor. And on the slopes of Mount Doom, they fought for the freedom of Middle-Earth.

**We see an Orc snarling, then a line of archers shooting arrows. Once again, we see a long shot of the battle field, with Orcs falling off cliff tops as they are shot. There are tens of thousands on the battle field. Then we see close shots of an army of Elves and men, commanded by Elrond, a chicken of a ruler who was by far the most excellent they had had to date.**

_Chicken Elrond:_

_Bawk bocbock BAWK! Bawwk bock boc_!

Translation: "Hold your positions! Fire the arrows!"

**The Elves/Men have their shields drawn, and as the Orcs charge towards them, they draw their swords and fight them. Many Orcs fall.**

_Narrator:_

Victory was near. But the power of the Socks could not be unraveled.

**Voldemort appears, and with him, a hazy green cloud. We see a close up shot of his feet, which are wearing the Socks. The fiery letters are very clear. Voldemort lifts his foot and stomps hard on the ground causing a tremouring earthquake around him, and the men and Elves around him are flung ourwards, yelling in pain. The king charges forward, trying to kill Voldemort. Voldemort kicks at him, flinging him to the ground. The king's sword falls. Isildur, his son, runs to his side, and takes off his helmet.**

It was in this moment, when all hope had faded, that Isildur, son of the kind, took up his father's sword.

**As he grabs at the sword, Voldemort steps on it, breaking it. Still holding the hilt of the broken sword, Isildur slashes at Voldemort's feet, cutting off one of the two. The foot, still with the sock on it, falls to the ground, as Voldmeort and the other Sock falls backwards. Isildur sits up and leans over the Sock, as Voldemort is destoryed in a light that seems to come from his body. A bright light comes from him, and a cloud spreads over the battlefield, killing all of the Orcs and Voldemort's allies. Voldemort's cloak falls to the ground, smoke coming out of it. The other Sock was destroyed with him.**

Voldemort, the enemy of the Free peoples of Middle-earth, was defeated.

**Isildur, amazed, picks up Voldemort's foot, with the Sock on it.**

The Sock passed to Isildur, who had this one chance to destroy evil forever.

**We see the Sock in Isildur's hands, and as he holds it, the foot of Voldemort turns to powder.**

But the hearts of men are easily corrupted. And the Sock of power has a will of it's own.

**We see Isildur on a horse, and the Sock wrapped around his neck like a scarf. He is attacked by the Orcs. One jumps onto his back, and the others shoot him with their arrows. He is seen in the Great River, dead, with three arrows in his back.**

It betrayed Isildur to his death.

**The Sock is seen floating downstream and snagging onto some driftwood at the bottom of it.**

And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend; legend became myth. And for two and a half thousand years, the Sock passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, it ensnared a new bearer.

**The screen fades to black. Then we see the asme part of the river, some time later. We then see the Sock, half burried, still snagged on some rocks now on the river floor. A hand is seen closing over it.**

_Dobby:_

Dobby's preciousss.

**We see Dobby in his tea cozy holding the Sock in his hand, then a shot of the Misty Mountains.**

_Narrator:_

The Sock came to the creature Dobby who took it deep into the tunnels of the Misty Mountains. And there it consumed him.

**We see Dobby, deep in a cave, squatting on a rock, looking at the Sock in his hand.**

_Dobby:_

It came, to Dobby. Dobby's own. Dobby's love. Dobby's own. Dobby's Preciousss... Dobby!

_Narrator:_

The Sock brought to Dobby an unnatural long life with the added bonus of his fredom, for he was a house elf. For five hundred years, it poisoned his mind. And in the gloom of Dobby's cave, it waited.

**Screen balcks out once more, then we see an indistinct shape, which comes into focus: a full moon. The image sharpens more, and we see it behind the cover of a tree.**

Darkness crept back in the forest of the world. Rumour grew of a shadow in the East, whispers of a nameless fear.

**We see a ripple in the Great Lake, the screen mergest into a shot of a red sunset.**

And the Sock of Power percived it's time had come.

**We hear the sound of wet fabric on rock, softly bouncing through Dobby's cave, and see the Sock rolling in a ball down some rocks.**

It abandoned Dobby. But something happened then, the Sock did not intened. It was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable.

**A fairly large hand is seen on the Sock.**

_Hagrid:_

Whats this 'ere now?

_Narrator:_

A Gobbit, who is a half giant half hobbit like creature. Rubeus Hagrid of the Shire.

**We see a full view of a Gobbit, who fingers it, then smiles.**

_Hagrid:_

A sock

_Dobby:_

**Offstage in the distance** LOST! Dobby's Preciousss is lossst!

**Hagrid pockets the sock**

**We see the outside of the Misty Mountains, now moving away from them.**

_Narrator:_

For the time would soon come when Gobbits and Hobbits would shape the fortunes of all...

**The screen blacks out**

I'll post more later. Sorry if this is off to a rough start >. Its been a long time since I've written anything :) Cheers!


End file.
